My Secret My heart
by iloveanime1322
Summary: Kyo Sohma had a secret that he desperately wished to hide. This world that the Sohmas came from was a harsh little existence. The 12 zodiac were always going to be better than everyone. Especially that damn rat. What a superficial life to lead. But this is why Kyo is desperate to keep this secret. If anyone found out, he would never hear the end of it. on hiatus
1. Chapter 1

Kyo Sohma had a secret that he desperately wished to hide. Very few people ever talked to him as an equal. He would hear stupid cat as he walked the grounds of the Sohma estate. No matter what kind of person Kyo tried to be, it would never be good enough for the other Sohmas.

This world that the Sohmas came from was a harsh little existence. The 12 zodiac were always going to be better than everyone. Especially that damn rat, Kyo thought to himself. Yuki Sohma was the golden child. He was loved by the family and girls and boys alike seemed to fawn all over him. What a superficial life to lead. But this is why Kyo is desperate to keep this secret. If anyone found out, he would never hear the end of it.

Kyo's POV

God today has just been the worst. Why couldn't I have been placed in a different class than that damn rat? I will never get away from this place or this curse. I sat in my seat, trying to listen to the teacher explain our math assignment but I could not focus. My mind was focused on what would happen today after school.

I have been granted a weekend pass to leave the Sohma property and do whatever I chose. Even though I am an outcast in the Sohma family, they still keep an ever watchful eye on me. I just want to be left alone.

Recently I have been living with Shigure, the dog and Yuki the damn rat. The house is not on the Sohma estate but Shigure is required to give daily updates to Akito, our family head. Even away from the compound, I will never have any privacy or freedom.

There has been one single ray of sunshine in my life. It came in the form of a beautiful girl named Honda Tohru. Tohru is in my class at school and she is always smiling. Recently her smile had disappeared and she seemed to be dis-shoveled and out of sorts. I had never spoken to her, so I did not want to seem to familiar and ask her what was wrong.

One afternoon, I decided to follow her to make sure she got home safely. I stayed back enough to keep her from noticing me. The path that she was taking was far to familiar to me. She stepped off the path and into the woods. Being the cat that I am, moving noiselessly through the trees was easy enough.

I had spent enough time in these woods recently that I had an idea of where she was headed. These trees butted up against a small cliff that housed a mini waterfall. We were almost there when she suddenly stopped and turned around. I barely had enough time to hide before being seen.

Satisfied that she was indeed alone, she returned her focus on her destination. Not far from the waterfall, I could see a tent. Tohru kneeled down and crawled inside. I could see her kneeling in front of a picture and heard her start talking.

I glanced around to make sure no one else was in the area and then moved closer to the tent. I could now hear Tohru clearly. "Oh mom, school today was a little hard. I am having problems again with the math homework that the teacher assigned. I wish you were here to help me. But no matter what, I will keep my promise to finish school. Grandpa said that the renovations should be done in another two months. I have to go get clean now so I can get to work. I love you mom. See you soon."

I backed away a little bit and watched as Tohru stood up beside the tent and gathered some clothing and a towel. She made her way to the waterfall and started to undress. I could feel my cheeks growing hot as I turned away. I may be male, but I do have some pride. I could hear her sharp intake of breath as the cold water hit her body and then a light humming as I assumed she was washing.

I didn't know why, but this beautiful young girl was living in a tent and bathing in a cold waterfall. Obviously her mother was no longer in this world, but where was her father? And she had said her grandfather was remodeling. Did that mean she normally lived with him? And if so, how could he let her live like this?

Slowly and quietly, I made my way back to Shigure's house. Once I got home, I packed up my things, gathered a tent from storage and set off back into the woods. My tent was three times the size of Tohru's tent and it was insulated. Tohru must have left for work already because she was nowhere in sight. I carefully got to work. I did not want to disturb her things, so I gently lowered the ten and removed it from the area.

Unpacking my tent, I began to erect it in the same place that the other one recently stood. Once I had completely set up the tent, I stood inside and looked at her things. There were a few sets of clothes and a very thin piece of foam that she used to as bedding.

I had anticipated this when packing and had brought a proper mat to lay down for her. She had a few canned goods and what looked like a loaf of bread but no other food stuffs to be seen. Thanking myself for the afterthought, I pulled out a small propane camp stove and set it next to the cans.

From my last pack, I pulled out some dried meats, herbs and fresh vegetables as well as a pot, bowl and spoon. There had to be a good reason that this girl chose to live here but I couldn't let her do without a few meals. I backed out of the tent, packed her smaller tent in one of my packs and left it inside for her. Taking one last look, I walked the trail back home once again. I told myself that I just wanted to help Tohru, but I think it was actually helping myself more. Tohru had something that I desperately wanted. Freedom.


	2. Chapter 2

Later that night, I told Shigure that I was going for a walk and that I would be back soon. He nodded approval and I slipped out the door and into the cool night air. I looked back at the house to make sure that I was not being followed and plunged into the darkness of the woods. I had no problem seeing at night so making my way back to the waterfall was simple. I did not know what time Tohru would get off work so I made sure to keep as quiet as possible. I could see a very dim light on in the tent so Tohru must be back.

Moving closer to the tent, I could hear what sounded like muffled cries. Why would she be crying? Did she hurt herself? Did something happen to her at her job? I listened to her sobs for what seemed like hours. Each sound cut deep into me. Such a sweet, innocent girl crying all alone. Soon I heard her speak.

"Mom, I just don't know who it could have been. No one knows that I am staying here. So who could have done all of this? They left no note or anything. I didn't think that there were kind people left in this world. I wish I could thank whoever it was."

She had been crying from gratitude? Honda Tohru was a complete mystery to me, but I am so glad that my small gift, all that I can do for her, meant so much. Not wanting to intrude on her privacy any longer, I turned and headed home. When I made it back to the house, I let Shigure know that I was home and going to bed. Tomorrow, I was going to get an early start and make sure that Tohru made it to school. Tomorrow, I was going to talk to her.

I finally just got out of bed after tossing all night long. I could not stop thinking of Tohru all alone in that tent, crying with a picture of her deceased mother. She should be in a loving home, with someone to take care of her. My mind ran over dozens of things to say to her when we met at school today. She had left her tent and slowly picked her way through the woods back to the main road. She stopped just before the road to make sure the coast was clear.

I waited until she was out of sight and then followed her on to the school. I took my time making my way to class. Tohru was the only person in our classroom, so I took the opportunity to greet her. "Good morning Honda-chan."

"Oh hello, Sohma-kun. Good morning to you too." I was about to ask her how she was doing when that damn rat walked in the door and started asking me why I had left so early this morning. That prick was always ruining things for me. I went and sat down in my seat and put my head on the desk. It was going to be a long day.

I got another chance to talk to Tohru at the end of the day. I waited to leave because I wanted to make sure she got back to her tent okay. We were the last two people in the classroom so I took the chance to chat. "So Honda-chan, not walking home with friends today?"

"Oh no, I have work soon so I was trying to get as much of the homework done before I left."

"Would you like some help?"

"Well, umm, do you understand the math?"

"Yeah, show me whats troubling you."

I pulled a seat close to her and listened as she tried to tell me what she didn't understand. Surprisingly enough, she understood the problem but when it came to solving she was just working backwards. I told her this and a huge smile lit up her whole face. "Oh thank you so much Sohma-kun, that makes so much sense."

"Please call me Kyo. There are so many Sohmas that I get lost in there."

"Okay Kyo-kun. Thank you for your help. I need to get to work now. See you tomorrow."

I nodded and watcher her walk away. She is just so beautiful and full of life. I never would have guessed what was going on in her life. Gathering my things, I quickly ran all the way home. I needed to hurry if I wanted to finish what I had planned. When I got home, there was a note saying that Yuki and Shigure had went to the main house to visit and to just order out. Perfect, no one to get in my way. I grabbed an extra pack and loaded it with blankets, extra food and an extra lamp.

I went to the store quickly and bought a small basin that could be heated by fire and some extra wash clothes and towels. I quickly made my way back to the waterfall with all the items in tow and quickly laid them out. On the sleeping mat was a folded piece of paper with the word anonymous written in small neat writing.

I gently lifted the paper and opened it. The same neat writing had filled the inside of the square and I knew that it was for me. I placed the paper in my pocket and exited the tent. I did not know what time Tohru would be back so I left and made my way home to order dinner. Salmon sounded good so I ordered a salmon sushi platter with wasabi and ginger as well as some miso soup and spring rolls. Shigure had left his credit card so I gave them the information and was told that it would be delivered in 30 minutes.

While I waited for my food to arrive, I took the note out of my pocket and gingerly unfolded it. I smoothed out the creases and laid it flat on the table. The writing was so neat that I had no trouble reading it.

Anonymous,

I do not know who you are. I do not know how you found me. But I can never express my gratitude enough. Why would you help a complete stranger? Let me rephrase that. You have a beautiful soul for helping a complete stranger. One day, I would like to know who you are so I can thank you properly. If you need your items back soon, do not hesitate to come and get them. I will keep them in good repair until you do. When I get paid, I will leave money for the food you have left me. I want you to know that from the bottom of my heart, I am truly in your debt.

T. Honda :)

I read and reread the note, taking in each word, every syllable and every tear that she must have she while writing to someone she didn't even know. Carefully I folded the paper and put it back in my pocket. I finally had one thing that was all my own.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, Yuki was downstairs and waiting on me when I got up. He asked if I was going to school early again and I told him no. He left for school and as soon as I couldn't see him any longer, I ran out the door and through the woods to make sure that Tohru goes to school. I made it to the waterfall as she was exiting the tent. She looked like she hadn't slept much at all last night.

Her eyes were puffy and she had dark circles that made her look like she was sick. Once she got out to the road, I took the long way back to let her get ahead of me some and then ran for it as if i was trying to catch someone. When I caught up to her, she turned to see who it was and her face brightened.

"Oh Kyo-kun, its you. Good morning. Are you in a hurry?" I shook my head and acted like I was winded. "I was going to tell Yuki something, but it can wait. Want to walk together?" Her face blushed red and she nodded her head yes. We walked in silence for a bit before either of us said anything. Then I decided to see what reaction I would get so I asked,

"So Honda-chan, do you live around here?"

"Umm, not really. I like to walk so I always take the long way from my house to school. In the early morning it is nice and peaceful." If I hadn't know better already, I would have believed every word. She sounded so sincere that I never would have second guessed it. I decided to be bold and said, "Maybe one day we can walk together again, because I enjoy your company Honda-chan."

"Please Kyo-kun, call me by my name as well. We are friends now after all."

"Okay Tohru-chan."

"Thank you. I don't have many friends so it is nice to not be so formal all the time."

"I have no friends so I understand what you mean."

"But Kyo-kun, you do have a friend.

My mind was in overload for so early in the morning. I am so happy that Tohru considered me a friend. I cannot believe that for the first time in my life, things were actually looking bright. I put my hands in my pockets and my fingers gently caressed the note that I had not let go of. It was mine and mine alone.

Classes seemed to crawl by today and I could not focus. My eyes constantly strayed to Tohru. Her hair was so shiny and soft looking. She kept her eyes on the teacher and took notes furiously. By the end of the day, I was just ready for bed. I gathered my things and waited for the other people in the room to leave.

Tohru was last out of the class again today. I was so excited. I wanted to talk to her at lunch but her friends Uotani and Hanajima sat with her and I did not want to bother them.

"Hey Tohru-chan, work again today?"

"No actually I am off today. I am trying to get all this homework complete so that I don't have to carry all my books home."

"Would you like me to help you again?"

"Sure."

We worked through our homework until we were both finished and we stowed our books away. We walked and talked freely about food that we liked, what books we enjoyed reading and even about Tohru's family. We got nearer the place I met up with her this morning and she stopped walking.

"Thank you for walking with me Kyo-kun. I have to turn this way now to go home. I hope to see you again tomorrow."

"Okay Tohru-chan, see you tomorrow."

I knew she was lying but I d not want her to be caught in her lie so I continued on my way to home. It had been a few days since I had talked to Shigure or Yuki other than in passing, so I figured that I would go home and chat with them.

Shigure was in his study when I got home. His publicist was waiting on the manuscript he was currently working on. I tapped lightly and asked if he had a minute. "For you Kyo, I have all the time in the world."

I sat down with him and asked him how his book was coming along, how everyone at the main house was doing and if he had been doing well. He answered all my questions in his usual annoying manner and then we both decided it was time for dinner. Yuki made an appearance at the dinner table and ignored me as usual. The stupid rat had no manners when it came to me and it made me sick. After dinner, I did the dishes and decided it was time for a walk. Thankfully those other two had already went to bed.

The trek through the woods was becoming a nightly ritual that I looked forward to. I have always enjoyed being out in the fresh air. It was a stark contrast to the house my mom kept me in before she died. My mother loved me, but she was also afraid of me. She kept me safe inside the four walls of our house and that's why now, if I am not walking outside, I sit on the rooftop to stare at the stars. It is he closest I can get to being free.

As I neared the waterfall, there was no light on tonight. I figured that Tohru had decided to go to bed early. As I was turning back to leave the way I had come, I heard a voice in the darkness. "Who is there?" I started to back away and her voice again came out through the night. "If you are there, I would like to meet you properly. You have done so much for me. Please come out."

I was not ready to show myself so I stayed silent. "Okay Anonymous. When you are ready, please come out, but don't leave me anything else because I already owe you more that I could ever repay." I looked up in time to see Tohru walk within inches of my hideout and into the tent. Not long after, I heard her breathing steady which let me know that she was asleep. I turned and ran all the way back to the house and up to the roof.

I am amazed that she figured out I was there with her. I took a lot of precautions to make sure I was as noiseless as possible. Maybe she had a secret too. Maybe, just maybe, she was different from the others. Maybe Tohru Honda could truly understand me. Or, maybe it is just wishful thinking.

 **Thank you for reading. I hope to post another chapter soon.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I am sorry it took me so long to update but I have been working on a different story and working quite a bit. I hope you all enjoy this because it is just starting to form for me. I have quite a few ideas rolling in my head for this story so stay tuned. As always, please review to let me know what you think. Enjoy and love you all!**

When I awoke, I was still laying on the rooftop. I climbed down into my room and gathered clothes before taking a quick bath. Today, I would be able to walk with Tohru without having to fake the situation. She actually wanted to walk with me. As if reading my mind, Yuki looked at me with a smug smirk on his dumb rat lips. "Where are you off to in such a hurry?" Ignoring him, I bent down to put on my shoes and ran out the door. I don't want to see that damn Yuki any longer than necessary.

Tohru was waiting for me in the exact spot that we parted ways just last night. She had a huge grin on her face that was infectious. She raised her hand to wave in my direction and then walked a few steps toward me. Usually people are always running away from me, so this is all new to me.

"Tohru-chan, you look decidedly happy this morning. What has put you in such a great mood so early?" I knew that it had to be the late night encounter last night, but she wasn't going to tell me about that. So I stood beside her waiting for an answer. "Oh it's nothing Kyo-kun," she said smiling up at me. We walked in silence for a few moments so that I could study her face. Tohru's smile was intoxicating. She turned her face toward mine and asked, "So what are you doing after school today Kyo-kun?"

"Well I am not really sure. I will probably just go home and work on homework, make dinner and then go to bed. What about you? Do you work this evening?"

"Oh no, I don't work today. So... would you want to go for a walk with me after school. I would like to show you something."

"Sure, as long as you let me treat you to dinner. That will keep me from having to cook later."

"Oh I couldn't let you do that. I can pay for myself."

"If you don't let me then I won't go with you Tohru-chan."

"Alright. It's settled then. We will meet up after school."

My brain was running a mile a minute. Tohru had something to show me, but what could it be? And I am still in shock that I had asked Tohru out to dinner. I had expected her to say no, but she had said yes and the butterflies in my stomach jumped with excitement.

Class started and I was left alone with my thoughts. How was I going to keep this from Yuki and Shigure? I decided that the truth would be the simplest approach; or at least a part of the truth. At lunch, I tracked down Yuki. "Hey Rat, can we talk a minute?" Yuki looked at me with venom in his eyes, just like he usually does. "What do you want you stupid Cat?"

"This afternoon I am going to stay after school to get some homework done and then I was just going to go out to dinner. Would you tell Shigure for me so that you guys can just order out?"

"Yes, I guess I can. I wold just remember you are suppose to be back at the house by 7:00. If Shigure calls the main house and you aren't back, you know he will have to tel Akito about it. Don't lose track of time."

With that, Yuki walked away from me and went back to whatever he had been doing. It was weird, almost like the dumb rat was worried about me. The lunch bell rang so I made my way back to class.

Once the last bell signaled the end of the school day, I made sure that all of my homework had been completed and my books were stowed away. Tohru was walking toward me and she was smiling widely.

"Kyo-kun, are you ready to go?"

"Sure, so where are we going?"

"Well it's a surprise, so how about we go for that walk now?"

We left the school and walked side by side as we made our way through the streets in silence. Tohru bumped my arm and I was about to apologize when he looped her arm through mine and kept walking. I could tell by how hot my face was, that I was as red as a beet. We were walking arm in arm, and she wasn't repulsed or afraid of me. In fact, she was smiling and her cheeks were red as well. Tohru Honda was an amazing girl and I was quickly becoming smitten.

Tohru began to slow and so I took in our surroundings, to see where she had taken me. Gravestones. There were gravestones all around and now I was even more curious about the mine of the girl standing next to me.

"Uh, Tohru-chan, why are we in a graveyard?"

"There is someone I would like you to meet."

Realization dawned on me as we finally stopped. I turned as Tohru let go of my arm and kneeled down in front of a grave. The stone read, Kyoko Honda- Beloved Wife and Mother. I knew that Tohru's mother had died but I didn't know why she had brought me to her grave.

"Is this your mother's grave?"

"Yes it is. Mom died last year in a car accident. I bet you are curious why I brought you to meet her."

"Well maybe a little. Why did you?"

"I want mom to know who all of my friends are. And you are a special friend."

"Special friend?"

Tohru ignored my question and turned back to the stone. "Hi mom. I want you to meet someone. This is Kyo Sohma. We are in class together at school and he has been helping me with my homework as well. But mom, he is a very special friend to me. Mom, I told you that someone was helping me by giving me a better place to live, more food and even a way to heat water for bathing. I wanted you to meet him."

My jaw was probably dragging the ground. I don't know how, but Tohru had figured out that I was the one helping her these past few days. She turned to me and smiled. "Kyo-kun, Thank you."

"Tohru-chan, how do you know that I was the one helping you?"

"I saw you. The day after you put up the tent, I was suppose to go to work but I called and told my boss that something important had come up. I went home and hid in some bushes hoping that the anonymous helper would show up again. I wasn't disappointed."

"Why didn't you say something if you already knew?"

"We didn't really know each other. I didn't know why you would help me. But I could tell you were kind, so I wanted to get to know you."

"So when you were outside the other night and talking to the air, you knew I was the one out there with you?"

"Yes Kyo-kun. I was hoping you would show yourself and when you didn't, I knew you weren't ready."

"Well since you know that it was me, why did you bring me here and say I was your special friend?"

"I can't explain it but I feel like we were suppose to meet. And you are special. You helped me without knowing anything about me."

"Can I ask you a question Tohru-chan?"

"Of course. I will answer as best as I can."

"Okay, I just want to know why you are living in a tent."

"Oh, that. Well, let me start at the beginning. Last year, my mom died in a car accident. After that, I went to live with my paternal grandfather. Some of his other family were going to be living with us so grandfather had to do some renovations to his house. My grandfather was staying with the family in their house while the work is being done but they did not have room for me. Grandfather asked me if there were people that I could stay with. The only friends I have are Uo and Hana, but I did not wish to burden them, so I found the spot next to the waterfall and made a place to stay until the house is ready. You know the rest."

"So how long have you been living out there alone?"

"I have been there for 4 months. The renovations were only suppose to take 2 months, but there have been a few extra problems that has needed attention."

"What will you do now that someone knows your secret?"

"I will keep going to school and work just like I always do."

"Let me stay with you."

"What?"

"Let me stay with you. I can help you with your homework, I can cook dinners, keep you safe, and make sure you don't get sick. I am sure it is what your mom would have wanted."

I asked her this because she was so intriguing that I couldn't seem to help myself. But I also didn't know how I would manage to get away from the other Sohmas to make it happen. Tohru looked up at me and smiled. It warmed my heat. How can this one girl seem to look past the very being of what I have always been and see who I want to be?

"Yes, Kyo-kun. I would like very much for you to stay with me."

As I looked back at her and she turned away to make her way back down the path we had come, I swear I thought I heard her say, "Forever." But it was probably just my imagination.


End file.
